it seems that the number of gerbil owners experiencing what psycho analysts call a 'communication void' with their beloved pets are on the rise. And a recent widespread research within our office of 12 have confirmed that.
According to Amanda Ho, President of Friends of Animals & Gerbils [FAG], owners are often oblivious of this problem. In fact, most of the complaints and cry for help actually came from the gerbils themselves. FAG is currently trying their best to address the situation by hiring freelance gerbil whisperers.
To help them along, we've decided to do our bit. Just read our mini guide, and you're on your way to a long and healthy relationship with your gerbils.
If your gerbils :
a] vibrate when you hold and pet them, it means they are happy
b] make weird tapping noises, they could be transmitting a mating sound or a warning of danger.
c] are doing bugger all, and ONLY ONE is thumping, the thumping one is sexually excited.Watch your back with this one!
d] have been sitting in the same yogi-like position for days, they're probably dead. It means you're only qualified to look after creatures with lower emotional needs. Like nuts, for instance.
Good luck.
Thursday
for life
according to print ads in today's paper here are the offerings available for life
1. ideas for life
2. diary for life
3. for health, for life
4. Austin Air for life
5. drink for life
But the best comes from Magnum 4D - Full payment guaranteed.
1. ideas for life
2. diary for life
3. for health, for life
4. Austin Air for life
5. drink for life
But the best comes from Magnum 4D - Full payment guaranteed.
Monday
Isn’t it groovy that…
American doctors have helped the Bee Gees' hit Stayin' Alive live up to its title? According to them, it has the ideal beat - 103 beats per minute, close to the recommended rate of 100 chest compressions per minute - to follow when performing chest compressions on victims of cardiac arrest. It also been used by the American Heart Association as a training tip for CPR instructors for over two years.
And what does this mean for us in Asia? Just this : BIG BUCKS!
Unnamed sources in Hong Kong have happily hinted at the future release of ‘Now That’s What I Call CPR : Vol. 1’. Songs tipped to be included in this life saving compilation include the aptly titled ‘Dr. Beat’ by Miami Sound Machine, Livin’ On a Prayer by Bon Jovi and Europe’s ominously named hit, ‘The Final Countdown’. Wedding planners are said to be livid as they search for another 'dry ice' friendly anthem.
American doctors have helped the Bee Gees' hit Stayin' Alive live up to its title? According to them, it has the ideal beat - 103 beats per minute, close to the recommended rate of 100 chest compressions per minute - to follow when performing chest compressions on victims of cardiac arrest. It also been used by the American Heart Association as a training tip for CPR instructors for over two years.
And what does this mean for us in Asia? Just this : BIG BUCKS!
Unnamed sources in Hong Kong have happily hinted at the future release of ‘Now That’s What I Call CPR : Vol. 1’. Songs tipped to be included in this life saving compilation include the aptly titled ‘Dr. Beat’ by Miami Sound Machine, Livin’ On a Prayer by Bon Jovi and Europe’s ominously named hit, ‘The Final Countdown’. Wedding planners are said to be livid as they search for another 'dry ice' friendly anthem.
Thursday
Apparently...
The final version of the song "No Air" by Jordin Sparks, has the line:
"Tell me how I’m supposed to breathe with no air?"
Prior to that, two other lyrics options were explored:
"Tell me how I’m supposed to walk with no legs?"
"Tell me how I’m supposed to talk with no voice?"
After much deliberation, executives from 19 records decided to research all 3 lines and found that:
35.5% agree that one cannot breathe with no air
36.2% agree that one cannot walk with no legs
28.3% agree that one cannot talk with no voice
Despite, "Tell me how I’m supposed to walk with no legs?" being the most popular choice, producers Erik "Bluetooth" Griggs and The Underdogs took a risk and went for the second most popular choice instead ("Tell me how I’m supposed to breathe with no air?") because it was hard to find words that rhyme with "legs"
Their gamble paid of and the rest, as they say, is history.
"Tell me how I’m supposed to breathe with no air?"
Prior to that, two other lyrics options were explored:
"Tell me how I’m supposed to walk with no legs?"
"Tell me how I’m supposed to talk with no voice?"
After much deliberation, executives from 19 records decided to research all 3 lines and found that:
35.5% agree that one cannot breathe with no air
36.2% agree that one cannot walk with no legs
28.3% agree that one cannot talk with no voice
Despite, "Tell me how I’m supposed to walk with no legs?" being the most popular choice, producers Erik "Bluetooth" Griggs and The Underdogs took a risk and went for the second most popular choice instead ("Tell me how I’m supposed to breathe with no air?") because it was hard to find words that rhyme with "legs"
Their gamble paid of and the rest, as they say, is history.
Wednesday
Studies show
that to own a multimillion dollar franchise, one should :
Contributed by : Owner of Harrods
- Live in the 1960s
- Borrow 100 pounds from your parents
- Survive a war or flee from one
- Open a retail store.
- Refrain from eating pork
Contributed by : Owner of Harrods
a quick look
on facebook status updates reveal that while 50% of Malaysians were concerned about the government, the other 50% were complaining about the new facebook interface.
Friday
Do you celebrate May 16?
If you do, well done. You are part of the 37.633% of the population, in which case we’d like you to reward yourself with a little robot move. If you don’t, allow us to teach you a thing or two.
May 16 is :
the Feast Day of St.Brendan
Teacher’s Day in Malaysia [it’s next to Singapore, and not too far from JB]
Robert Darcy’s [4th Earl of Holderness] death day
Tori Spelling’s birthday
the official International Sea Monkey Day
Now do you see the significance and the astonishing connections? We have no doubt that you do.
To help you prepare for May 16 next year, the festive merchandise will be on sale on our site when the time is right.
If you do, well done. You are part of the 37.633% of the population, in which case we’d like you to reward yourself with a little robot move. If you don’t, allow us to teach you a thing or two.
May 16 is :
the Feast Day of St.Brendan
Teacher’s Day in Malaysia [it’s next to Singapore, and not too far from JB]
Robert Darcy’s [4th Earl of Holderness] death day
Tori Spelling’s birthday
the official International Sea Monkey Day
Now do you see the significance and the astonishing connections? We have no doubt that you do.
To help you prepare for May 16 next year, the festive merchandise will be on sale on our site when the time is right.
Thursday
apparently...
Members of Compulsive Liars Anonymous, concluded a nationwide research last night. Research findings suggest that 95% of researchers like to make up statistics on the spot.
Unbelievable but true...
Baby Xander Jace Riniker was born at St. Luke’s Hospital in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, at 8:08 a.m. on 8/8/08. Weighing 8 pounds and 8 ounces, baby Xander is also the eighth grandchild for his mother’s parents. Despite these amazing coincidence, the auspiciousness of the birth is in question. Was he born at 8:08:08 GMT? And if not, does it count?
So far, there has been no official answers to this troubling question. The only comment was from an anonymous blogger who said “Isn't this one of the signs of the Apocalypse?”
We at infosluts have only one thing to say : It depends on which time zone the apocalypse is set to.
Baby Xander Jace Riniker was born at St. Luke’s Hospital in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, at 8:08 a.m. on 8/8/08. Weighing 8 pounds and 8 ounces, baby Xander is also the eighth grandchild for his mother’s parents. Despite these amazing coincidence, the auspiciousness of the birth is in question. Was he born at 8:08:08 GMT? And if not, does it count?
So far, there has been no official answers to this troubling question. The only comment was from an anonymous blogger who said “Isn't this one of the signs of the Apocalypse?”
We at infosluts have only one thing to say : It depends on which time zone the apocalypse is set to.
Monday
It's hard to believe, but...
Music is considered to be one of the most important elements in Mexico. Music appreciation is developed from a very early age, usually in the 2nd trimester of pregnancy. By the age of 5¼ , children are already encouraged to write their own lyrics. One such song is the 1976 No.8 hit, “There’s A Hole In My Sombrero”, written by Pedro el ChimiChanga at the tender age of 7. The lyrics of that song is currently unavailable, but here’s another hit, written by his [then 6 years old] nursery mate, who for safety reasons, has chosen to stay anonymous.
LA CUCARACHA
Cuando uno quiere a una,
y esta una no lo quiere,
es lo mismo que si un calvo,
en calle encuentra un peine.
Coro:
La cucaracha, la cucaracha,
ya no puede caminar,
porque no tiene, porque le falta,
marihuana que fumar.
Las muchachas mexicanas,
son lindas como una flor,
y hablan tan dulcemente,
que encantan de amor.
Coro:
La cucaracha, la cucaracha,
ya no puede caminar,
porque no tiene, porque le falta,
marihuana que fumar.
Las muchachas de Las Vegas,
son muy altas y delgaditas,
pero son más pedigüeñas,
que las ánimas benditas.
Coro:
La cucaracha, la cucaracha,
ya no puede caminar,
porque no tiene, porque le falta,
marihuana que fumar.
Music is considered to be one of the most important elements in Mexico. Music appreciation is developed from a very early age, usually in the 2nd trimester of pregnancy. By the age of 5¼ , children are already encouraged to write their own lyrics. One such song is the 1976 No.8 hit, “There’s A Hole In My Sombrero”, written by Pedro el ChimiChanga at the tender age of 7. The lyrics of that song is currently unavailable, but here’s another hit, written by his [then 6 years old] nursery mate, who for safety reasons, has chosen to stay anonymous.
LA CUCARACHA
Cuando uno quiere a una,
y esta una no lo quiere,
es lo mismo que si un calvo,
en calle encuentra un peine.
Coro:
La cucaracha, la cucaracha,
ya no puede caminar,
porque no tiene, porque le falta,
marihuana que fumar.
Las muchachas mexicanas,
son lindas como una flor,
y hablan tan dulcemente,
que encantan de amor.
Coro:
La cucaracha, la cucaracha,
ya no puede caminar,
porque no tiene, porque le falta,
marihuana que fumar.
Las muchachas de Las Vegas,
son muy altas y delgaditas,
pero son más pedigüeñas,
que las ánimas benditas.
Coro:
La cucaracha, la cucaracha,
ya no puede caminar,
porque no tiene, porque le falta,
marihuana que fumar.
it is not true
that men are from mars and women are from venus. Despite overwhelming evidence of life forms in both planets, there is no proof that they were men or women.
Did you know
all polar bears are left handed?
The ones featured in Polar Express were fake... apparently Disney could not afford the talent fee and snow coated American Brown bears instead.
Watch them eat with their RIGHT hand.
Contributed by Right Handed Polar Bear
The ones featured in Polar Express were fake... apparently Disney could not afford the talent fee and snow coated American Brown bears instead.
Watch them eat with their RIGHT hand.
Contributed by Right Handed Polar Bear
Did you know that …
A recent poll has shown that for 38 years running, “Knock Knock” jokes are still the No.1 choice for novice deliverers of humour. Trailing closely at No. 2 are the “Mummy Mummy” jokes. The “Man Walks Into A Bar” variety, however, slipped to an embarrassing No.230. A position it shares with the formerly funny “A Malay, a Chinese and an Indian…”. Of the many reasons rumoured to have contributed to their drop in popularity, only one is being taken seriously : global warming.
A recent poll has shown that for 38 years running, “Knock Knock” jokes are still the No.1 choice for novice deliverers of humour. Trailing closely at No. 2 are the “Mummy Mummy” jokes. The “Man Walks Into A Bar” variety, however, slipped to an embarrassing No.230. A position it shares with the formerly funny “A Malay, a Chinese and an Indian…”. Of the many reasons rumoured to have contributed to their drop in popularity, only one is being taken seriously : global warming.
apparently...
Malaysia's obsession for building the biggest infrastructures such as KLCC (1.5 million sp. feet), Putrajaya (11320 acres) and KL Tower (1381 feet tall) inspired Malaysia's minister of Science and Technology, Datuk Dr. Maximus Ongkili to draft a proposal to build the world largest microchip.
This giant microchip is rumoured to cover a span of 3 football fields and has the capabilities to power 5 typewriters at the same time. The minister was unavailable for comment.
This giant microchip is rumoured to cover a span of 3 football fields and has the capabilities to power 5 typewriters at the same time. The minister was unavailable for comment.
Overheard at a gathering in Batu Caves…
Apparently the Egyptians were the first to wear shoes in 1200BC. This was strongly contested by the Mesopotamians who claimed that they have been wearing shoes since 1437 BC. Their claim is also backed by recent archeological finds – a fossilized bunion and an ancient price list for different types of pedicures. Despite the ongoing debate, both sides agree that the day when the shoe was worn was definitely 25th August, regardless of the year. This officially makes the shoe, a Virgo.
Apparently the Egyptians were the first to wear shoes in 1200BC. This was strongly contested by the Mesopotamians who claimed that they have been wearing shoes since 1437 BC. Their claim is also backed by recent archeological finds – a fossilized bunion and an ancient price list for different types of pedicures. Despite the ongoing debate, both sides agree that the day when the shoe was worn was definitely 25th August, regardless of the year. This officially makes the shoe, a Virgo.
Sunday
According to experts,
Langoustines, also known as Dublin Bay prawns or Norway lobster, can be found in several locations off the British coast, especially the cold waters off the coast of Northern Ireland, and the deep, narrow sea lochs of the west coast of Scotland. But surprisingly, none has ever been fished in Nepal!
its true..
the emotions and chemical reaction that happens when you fall in love are the same if you cross a shaky bridge. So to get anyone to fall in love with you, arrange to meet at a bridge. If he/she rejects you, there is an added advantage of tossing them over.
Saturday
rumour has it
Albert Smith, who allegedly died from a heart attack for not forwarding a chain mail was spotted last week in Kuala Lumpur shopping with his wife
Friday
apparently...
The longest strand of hair on the human body is actually the eyebrow. The hair on the eyebrow is connected to the brow ridge which goes under the skin and it travels down the human body under the epithelial tissues in parallel to the spine. That hair finally exits at the surrounding area of the anus which most french scientists call "le butt hair". That is why every time you pull your butt hair, your eyebrow will twitch
Did you know..
F.U.C.K is an acronym that means Fornication Under the Consent of King. Because in the past to get married in England you had to get Royal Approval. So the real proposal for marriage was "Will You Fuck Me?".
Thursday
rumour has it that one of the best selling wigs for men is called ‘The Jacki’. The wig is cut short in front and sides, long at the back, and is suspiciously similar to the much loved ‘Mullet’. It’s available in 27 amazing shades, the favourite being Chestnut Brown with Light golden blonde highlights. Sweet!
Wednesday
apparently...
a dog has the brain of a 2-3 year old where else a cat is only capable of thinking like a 1 year old. so its not that your cats are independent, they don't know any better.
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